http://www.lizardmaster.com The Lizard Master's blog, travels, diary, fishing, lizards, and funny. en-us Copyright 2006 Alex Grosholz http://backend.userland.com/rss/ Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:30:00 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/tlm/images/lizardmaster.jpg http://www.lizardmaster.com A friend today remarked how a co-worker visits a local restaurant and always chooses takeout.  Why?  That way he doesn't have to leave a tip.  Now I admit, I was ignorant of people tipping at takeout myself.  My wife noticed one day that I was not tipping at takeout at a restaurant and I responded with why?  This isn't like we are sitting down and eating and they are waiting on us?  Well, there's a few reasons I was given from someone who worked in the industry. These people are usually rotated and on tip wages.  Tip wages are lower than minimum wage with the expectance that tips will make up for getting paid less salary. Many times take out servers are your normal waiters and waitresses moonlighting for the service.  That means they are losing money waiting on your takeout order when they could be assigned to a waiting area. No one is expecting a full 25% tip on the bill.  On a $30 bill, $3 is a generous take out tip and very much appreciated by the servers. Especially for a restaurant you frequent, while not expected, ensures top quality services (there are exceptions to this rule as we found out later, heh). Some takeout servers still have to tip-out based on the sales from that night.  If they have not received any tips, the night could actually end up costing them money. Here are some quotes from those in the industry:  Tipping on take-out is good karma, and can often result in the restaurant providing you a little extra hospitality if the order isn't completely done when you get there. I know when I'm working I don't expect a tip when I put together a take-out order for someone since the workload is considerably lighter than waiting on a full table. However, when I do get a tip from someone on those, I greatly appreciate it. Usually I tip around 10 percent of the bill on take-out. Yes - as a former waitress I know from exp that take-out orders take time to put together - cartons, tins, bread, salad dressings, etc. - a few extra bucks are def. appreciated. AND, usually, the server that takes your order has to tip OUT on the sales. So taking a take-out order can cost $$$ to do. This might explain why many servers are reluctant to take the order in the first place. It takes time away from their tables in the restaurant. The ones that might be tipping.  All that said, I tip on take-out. Two or three dollars on a $30 order seems to me just being on the safe side and it does not cost much for something that might mean more to the person than you think.  But I'll put it to a vote.  Vote 1 for there is no reason to tip on takeout, there is not US standard for this, or Vote 10 for I always throw a few extra bucks to the takeout people. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4097 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:34:09 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4097 "I'll just tell you this, if this passes and it's five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented -- I am leaving the country. I'll go to Costa Rica." (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4096 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 10 Mar 2010 11:20:42 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4096 The recent comments from a person who goes as Carlos Miller (best overall winner) had me fired up.  Here are some examples - Congrats, but your site is pretty pathetic.  - Carlos Miller (best overall winner) A website that posts conspiracy theories about Obama trying to rig the next election through immigration a Ferrari?  Ha!  And KareBare, is that an alter-ego of one of the editors here?  I think so!  May be c too.  Probably Todd throwing a softball to himself so he could respond to it.  Seriously, you guys are the LOSERS, that's pretty sad.  - Carlos Miller (best overall winner) Ah I see, law enforcement officer.  I'll keep my eye out for you when I'm out taking pictures.  Ha!  This site makes a lot more sense with your conservative hate now.  What's funny is you guys are hating on me, but had you actually showed up for the awards, I'm sure we'd have a picture together.  I was like a rock star.  Next year, try and get at least in the top ten for best overall.  Ha!  NOT LIKELY!  - Carlos Miller (best overall winner)  So I e-mailed him this - To: Carlos Miller From: Lizard Master (stadium.events@hotmail.com) I have to jump in here and defend my friends.  The comments you posted here (http://www.conservative21.net/displayone.cfm?docid=4142) are both arrogant and make liberals seem elitist.  The more you talk, the more it makes us look bad.  Why don't you just stick to defending the paparazzi and quit posting garbage on other peoples websites.  Is this your idea of a joke?  You are making yourself look like a horses behind.   ---TLM http://www.lizardmaster.com/ To Which he responded - To: Lizard Master (stadium.events@hotmail.com) From: Carlos Miller Those weren't posted by me. I've never posted on that site. Somebody is impersonating me. I'll go over there now and try to clear this up. And he did - Having said that, I am a liberal, so I probably won't agree with much of what is written here.  But I am also a First Amendment advocate, so I fully support your right to publish your opinions.  And I have no personal beef with you guys, so I wouldn't make those comments.  I have plenty of haters and this impersonator is just one of them.  - (The Real) Carlos Miller Well that clears that up.  Must have just been one of his haters. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4095 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:14:24 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4095 "We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada," (Sarah) Palin said. (Source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4094 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:25:38 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4094 When we reset the counter, we wrote - "Ironically, this helps the passage of health care because he was a no vote feeling the latest bill didn't go far enough.  Could it be that there's some Chicago style set-up here?" To which Todd commented "I definitely don't see how this "helps" the passage of the health care bill. You could pretty much guarantee that he would have voted for it if he was one of those who felt it wasn't going far enough. At this point, he's one of the ones who would be willing to vote for anything as long as it's something." Well now look what Massa is saying now.  From Politico: "Mine is now the deciding vote on the health care bill," Massa, who on Friday announced his intention to resign, said during a long monologue on radio station WKPQ. "And this administration and this House leadership have said, quote-unquote, they will stop at nothing to pass this health care bill. And now they've gotten rid of me, and it will pass. You connect the dots." It hurts being this right sometimes.  Thanks Fat for the tip. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4093 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 08 Mar 2010 11:25:32 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4093 Only missing two picks, Fat dominated the Bracketology.  Here's the final official brackets - From Sunshinestateconference.com - Just hours removed from its SSC tournament title, Rollins was awarded the No. 2 seed in this week's NCAA Division II South Region Men's Basketball Championship.  The Tars will be joined by third-seeded Florida Southern and Barry, which grabbed the sixth seed.  The regional tournament will be hosted by top-seeded Arkansas Tech March 13-16. Rollins will open play against No. 7 Alabama-Huntsville.  Having just faced off in Saturday's SSC Championship semifinal, the Moccasins and Buccaneers will meet again in the opening round.  The other games will feature No. 4 Valdosta State vs. No. 5 Clark Atlanta and No. 1 Arkansas Tech vs. No. 8 Tuskegee.  Dates and times will be announced on Monday. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4092 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:31:12 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4092 From the Christian Science Monitor: On Wednesday, he had announced he would leave the House when his term ends, citing health problems. But the House ethics committee has confirmed that it was investigating Massa. It has been widely reported that he allegedly sexually harassed a male staff member, a charge Massa denies. The bad news for Democrats is twofold: One of their members is embroiled in an embarrassing scandal (though getting Massa out of the House sooner rather than later is a plus). And his seat is vulnerable to a GOP takeover, as the district leans right and the seat was long held by Republicans. Ironically, this helps the passage of health care because he was a no vote feeling the latest bill didn't go far enough.  Could it be that there's some Chicago style set-up here?  May be, or it could be just your run of the mill alleged sexual harassment.  Score one for the Democrats as they try and catch up on the male to male SMC resets. Thanks to c and Fat for the tip. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4090 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 05 Mar 2010 22:56:13 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4090 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4089 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 05 Mar 2010 09:07:06 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4089  Although we made a good run in the humor category, we got smashed in the political and personal categories.  So here's our five-point plan to win next year:   1. Only enter the humor category - Really, this is a uncategorizable blog.  Anyone who comes here often knows this.  But it's hard to go up against the likes of not conformed thoughts.  Just doesn't make any sense, we are not really comparable to them.  Although we could totally dominate that category, it doesn't mean much because you are comparing incomparable blogs.  So the best fit is probably humor, even though I think some of our strongest posts are the serious political stuff.  That and our peabody award winning coverage of men's Sunshine State Conference basketball.   2. Actually vote - When conservative21 was closing in on their ultimate win, they lobbied for my daily vote citing their better chance to win.  To which I replied, I really haven't been voting.  I think they thought I was full of it, but I wasn't.  This point also includes promoting voting to everyone else a little more.   3. Be more funny - Not sure if anyone noticed, but some of the recent posts have been pretty lame.  Thank goodness for the good people at Harvard and ladies who breastfeed into grammar school.   4. Start a fight with another contender - Some of the blogs in the contest attacked each other.  This is something I always enjoy engaging in and I can't believe I missed it.  I'm looking at you Abigail of a collection of poetry.  Your work reminds me of the Great McGonagall (never to early to start).   5. Increase coverage of men's Sunshine State Conference Basketball http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4088 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:34:52 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4088 I know we've had our differences, and that will probably never change.  But for one day, no critical comments, just praise.  Great job winning the Sun-Sentinel Best of Blogs Award for the 2010 political category! http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4087 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 04 Mar 2010 09:38:20 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4087 For those of you that did bet the house, I offer you a free signed picture of a lizard as compensation.  How was I supposed to know that the Nova Shark strategy was going to be foul early, foul often, especially on your side of the court when you are over the limit?  I have to admit it was brash to think that a great foul shooting team wouldn't see that one coming.  Had it worked, they would be called genius, but there's a fine line between fail and genius. Anyway, of course I nailed every other pick, except Nova.  The half-time rule was one basket away from working, and unfortunately, Nova was down 13 at half time.  Here's your updated brackets - Things to be thankful for -  Half of the NSU team is built with Freshmen. There are no Seniors on the team. Still got a six seed despite backing into the tournament. Next year the coach might reconsider his foul the second the opposing team inbounds the ball philosophy. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4086 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 04 Mar 2010 09:01:04 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4086 Nova is down by 13 at the half.  I encourage everyone to tune in to see one of the great Sunshine State Conference comebacks!  Everyone loves a good comeback.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4085 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 03 Mar 2010 19:56:36 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4085 "The hallmark of a strong company is one that aligns with young companies. I'm a betting woman, and I think the Nets are going to win a championship this decade." (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4084 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:37:33 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4084 Folks, it's that time of year again.  For anyone who made the tournament, the post season starts tomorrow.  Here's your brackets for the Sunshine State Conference - I have never once lost on my Sunshine State Conference Brackets.  Not once.  But don't let my picks influence you.  Here are my picks, if you are a betting person, bet the house: http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4082 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 02 Mar 2010 09:43:58 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4082 Pickle still has a pickle growing inside, but we are discussing how long we should breast feed for.  And like all personal decisions we make, I have to ask all of you first.  Before responding, watch this video - Time for a vote, vote 1 for 1 year, 10 for 10 years +  http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4081 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:32:29 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4081 From Ebay: The North American version of Stadium Events is universally accepted as the rarest licensed NES game available for purchase in North America. This is why this game is huge to collectors! Show your seriousness about Stadium Events with this one of a kind E-MAIL ADDRESS.   The address is stadiumevents@hotmail.com Upon winning this auction, you will receive simple instructions on how to log into and change the security settings. Please be advised that the actual Stadium Events game IS NOT included with this auction. Again, this auction is for the rights to this one of a kind E-MAIL ADDRESS ONLY! Don't let it get away!!  Happy Bidding!  I know I'm being a fool here for posting this hot item, but I couldn't help it.  I doubt I'll be able to afford it when the bidding is done anyway, but I'll keep my fingers crossed!  I mean there is only one stadiumevents@hotmail.com e-mail address in the world. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4078 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:25:29 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4078 It took a little bit, but we have our first bona fide contender for Droll of the year. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4077 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:06:55 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4077 Way to go Canada.  Make me look like a fool one day later after I was about to kick some commie butt for you.  Way to go.. May be we don't know the whole story about the Canadians in yesterdays piece? They were probably drunk driving and blowing smoke in the Russians face. The International Olympic Committee will investigate the actions of Canadian women's hockey players who celebrated their gold medal victory Thursday night by swigging beer and smoking cigars on the ice in Vancouver.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4076 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:03:22 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4076 Okay, time to kick some commie butt now.  It's one thing when we laugh at Canada, but they are like our ugly sister.  We can make fun of them, but if anyone else does, they get punched in the face.  Man, this is the 80's all over again.  Stay classy Russia. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4075 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:54:06 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4075 So, this is a guest blog post... and yes, it will be totally lame. Earlier today TLM and I were talking about how when you enter into your 30s, stuff starts to break, and you wake up randomly with stuff either not working, or stuff hurting. The truth is, at any point in my 20s, I could easily drink all night, jump out of a speeding car, brush myself off... go to a strip club for the rest of the night, and spend the early morning hours vomiting. By 9:00 AM that morning, I'd be at work, and ready to go. All I needed was a cup of coffee. Now, I never did this, but knowing I could do it was incentive enough. Since around the age of 29... I've noticed that things just aren't that simple anymore. Simple tasks like leaning over to tie my shoes and I'd hear all kinds of stuff cracking. Bones or joints that I wasn't even aware I had would crack and pop almost in sequence. In the middle ages, people our age would be considered elderly. I started thinking about it... I tend to blame the fact that both TLM and I are finishing school. He's going for his PHD, I'm finishing my Bachelors. We both have desk jobs, and spend the entire day behind a computer. We both spend our nights and what little free time we have in front of our computers studying and ignoring our respective families. TLM is convinced that this is the age where our bodies start to wind down...  however, I'm just hoping that I've let myself go, and that I'm not really "that old"... So, as with everything I do, I like to do it to a certain level of eccentricity. I immediately sought out the running shoes I used while in high school. I typically ran 8-10 miles every day, and would typically go through two pairs of these shoes every season. These shoes became known as one of the best long-distance running shoes every created by man... these were the Asics Gel-Lyte Vs.  BEHOLD... The Asics Gel-Lyte Vs were made in Italy, made from the finest of materials and had three independant sacks of "gel" in the soles. They had a uni-tongue which mated to the sole to prevent it from sliding to either side. Most new shoes today try to emulate that by using elastic bands which bind up after wearing the shoes only three times. As of today, they are considered to be the lightest full-running shoe every constructed. These shoes are the holy grail of long distance runner shoes. New Old Stock of these shoes are long gone as professional runners were willing to pay exorbant prices to get ahold of even the very last of them.   Dismayed, I quickly learned that a slightly older pair of these shoes with a similar design were available in new old stock on Amazon. These are the Asics Gel-Lyte 3s. Unfortunately for me, and everyone who will see me running on the side of the road, these Gel-Lyte-3s were sold in 1990-1992. They clearly look as if they were surplus costume wear from the last episodes of Miami Vice. No matter, I'll still wear them.   So yeah... that's it... you can stop reading.... http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4074 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:02:01 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4074 From Craigslist - 2000 monte carlo ss - $2000 (Flint ) I am selling my 2000 monte carlo ss with 150xxx miles. I am selling the car due to the fact it was in a croos fire betweeen some people that were shooting at each other and my car go hit 6 times so there is six bullet holes in the car and the two small windows need to be replace, but its an easy fix i just dont want to deal with it if interested 8104494202 I dont check emails so call  Bullet hole stickers are for wusses, be a man and get the real deal.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4073 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:24:06 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4073 It's always unintentionally funny when someone tries to act 20 years younger than their actual age. '80s Dances: How To Do The Thriller Next weeks Drolls: Me following instruction from Dancin' Kim.  I just have to remember to keep my limbs weak because I'm a zombie.  Zombie claws...ooooooooo.  Ahahahaha.  No mere mortal can resist the evil of the Thriller! Muhahaha. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4072 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:18:22 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4072 I was saving this for the Friday Drolls this week, but two things happened.  It blew up all over the Internets, and second, I realized it's not really a Friday Droll.  Friday Drolls are meant to be unintentionally funny, and this is unintentionally sad...I'm sure someone got fired for not prepping Oprah that Drew Brees has a birthmark on his face...Plus I got a really good Friday Droll submitted to me that I'm excited about. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4071 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 18 Feb 2010 10:01:21 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4071 With all the predictions we've nailed around here, I can't believe we let someone else possibly nab this one.  From the Huffington Post -  "When Bayh said, 'I'm an executive at heart,' might have been hinting at POTUS run in '16, not just an IN GOV bid in '12," tweeted University of Virginia political scientist Larry Sabato, stirring the presidential rumor pot. Let's stir it even harder. Could Bayh, who backed Hillary Clinton for president in 2008, jump into a primary against Obama in 2012 from a conservative direction? His resignation speech touched all the Clintonian bases, from welfare reform, to budget cutting to a strong national defense with a reference to 9/11 thrown in. A primary would be the most difficult terrain for Bayh, who many in his own party consider barely a Democrat. The conventional wisdom would say no. Regardless of what chance he might have in a general election, the Democratic base sees Bayh as a symbol of what's wrong with the party in general: too cautious, too accommodationist, too friendly with K Street. But a base driven crazy by Obama's refusal to push forward a progressive agenda could be driven right back into his arms confronted with a challenger like Bayh. It's too early to be calling stuff like this, but it certainly would make the race more interesting than the Bill Bradley challenge to Al Gore.  Hopefully Obama will take these next few years and turn the spending ship around, otherwise a conservative Democrat might just be what the doctor ordered. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4070 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 16 Feb 2010 11:46:40 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4070 We are nominated for Humor, Politics, and Personal site of the year as a part of Sun-Sentinel's BOB Awards.  Those of you that are new, we invite you to look around.  Check out some of our insightful interviews and investigative political stories, or check out some of our funnies.  Or just see below and enjoy the personal short sale story.  The fact is we kind of sort of fit all three subject titles, while not really fitting of the catch-all category they have. Here's the badge thingy they gave us.  If we win the $100, it will all be donated to relief efforts in Haiti.  Yep, 100%, vote often and vote lizard (the title is The Lizard Master) - Also, you'll see notconformedthoughts.com and the site that loves to advertise in our comments sections, conservative21.net there as well.  Although our sites never are really on the same page, we are all friendly with each other. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4069 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:56:55 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4069 "Well, this was pretty much tied to my drag personality, Ursula. It's not me as a member of parliament doing this; it's more a case of me travelling as my drag personality" (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4067 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 15 Feb 2010 09:59:02 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4067 I know this goes a little against the spirit of Friday Drolls, but I wanted to follow up the Short Sale Story with some house drolls.  So here's a funniest videos compilation... http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4065 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:44:26 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4065 I read an article in sun-sentinel the other day stating that they were going to pass a law changing how short sales are handled. A woman was lamenting that she was waiting since October to close. Ha! 4 months at most? That’s nothing! Our experience with a short sale results in the longest post we’ve ever had around here. It’s not even that funny, but I needed to post it. This is my catharsis. Enjoy. The story begins sometime in 2007 and Pickle and I weren’t even married yet. Still we were already preparing for the future and looking at possible rentals and homes for purchase. One of the houses we saw was a tiny (900 Sq Ft) three bedroom, 2 bath house for $235,000. That’s how things were down here at the time. It was out of control. This house was the cheapest on the market that was acceptable to us. After long discussions, and much time passing, we decided to get married before taking such a step and save money in the mean time. Taking the risk of offending “c” here, we affectionately said that we didn’t want that “Red Neck Shack (RNS)” anyway. Terming the house RNS would come back to bite us eventually. I had written a lot more about the time period following our first sight of the house, but I edited it out because it was too boring even for my catharsis. So quick fast forward, Pickle and I are now married. Savings was lower than expected because of the wedding. We decided to save some more and pay down debt. Still, I couldn’t help myself and decided one day to peek at what real estate was doing now. It’s late December 2008, and there’s the RNS for $115,000. That’s quite a savings on a house we were considering just over a year earlier for more than double. While the time wasn’t quite right for us, we figured we should jump on the opportunity. After we looked at the house and spoke with the realtor, we heard for the first time the term “short sale.” We are told not to worry and that the bank will approve it. So doing our due diligence, we find out that a short sale is when the owner is on the verge of foreclosure and does a back door deal with the bank. The owner finds a buyer, but for less than what he or she currently owes on the house. The bank agrees to take the loss so they don’t have to go through the foreclosure process and end up with another property on their hands. It’s a win-win and a loss-loss, but better than the alternative. Okay, fine. We agree to purchase the house and we put down an escrow deposit. This is 1/21/09. Months go by. Daily calls to the realtor are rebuffed under the banner of “we are just around the corner” and “don’t worry, the bank just takes time, almost there though!” We get fed up and start looking around and find some acceptable alternatives. I asked our realtor to get our escrow check back because we are tired of waiting and are now excited to start our lives as a married couple in our own home. We didn’t really want that RNS anyway. That’s when the bombshell hits. The bank has been playing a game with us. They had accepted two offers, ours and one for cash at $105,000. The cash buyer deal was all but complete, except they didn’t even have the money to put down the deposit. So as we are picking up our escrow check we are told that the bank made a mistake. They had already approved the short sale for the cash buyer for $105,000. If we want, they will just switch the names to us and we can have the house for $10k cheaper. Wow! Real life bank-error in our favor! That’s hard to pass up, and so the RNS sucks us in again. On the whole, we were attractive buyers. We already were pre-approved for a loan, so the transaction should go smoothly. Inspection is needed so we pay to have the house inspected. Great news! The roof is garbage and there are two major leaks in the house. Our lender backs out not wanting to take the risk. We ask if we could put some money in escrow that would cover the roof, but we are denied. In fact we had trouble finding anyone that would allow us to purchase the house with the promise to fix the roof. My wife’s family is in the roofing business so we find a cheap way to get the roof done quickly, but the owner won’t let us work on the house citing liability issues. After going in circles forever, it appears we hit another dead end.  Fine, we didn’t really want the RNS anyway. Around this time we find out that Wells Fargo does loans that are called 203k loans. Basically, they mark up everything that’s wrong with the house, and then loan you the money for repairs along with the mortgage. Sucked back in! Somewhere around here we also find out that Pickle is pregnant so we are now on a 9 month time limit. No problem though, we just need to get approved through Wells Fargo and we have our house. This turns out to be a huge ordeal. We are told to speed up the process we can use one of their valued partners. This basically triples the cost of the roof because we have family in the roofing industry. On the other hand, they say it will take 75 days to approve our selected vendor. That would take too long, we need to get this done, or so we thought. We are now somewhere in late summer. AND we have yet to receive the short-sale agreement that was simply “changing the names on it.” Wells Fargo is starting to grow impatient so calls are happening on almost a daily basis between me, Wells Fargo, and the realtors. More time passes. At this point I think we have satisfied everything Wells Fargo wants, so we are just waiting for this damned letter. After intense questioning we find that there are two mortgages the current owner has on the house. One was originally from Countrywide Home loans. Since we started this process, they had been taken over by Bank of America who needed to review all the short sales to make sure they weren’t getting ripped off. Basically, the short sale agreement process started over again. They might not even be interested. Fine, we didn’t really want the RNS anyway. Fast forward again. We are getting ready to celebrate Christmas, when I finally get the call, short sale approved! Nearly a year after we put the escrow check down, after numerous phone calls, strife, suffering, telling Pickle we are getting the house, telling Pickle we are definitely not getting the house, and Pickle entering in the final trimester of pregnancy, it’s all over. Well, not really. I call Wells Fargo with the good news and they return the favor by offering me bad news. See, during the process my agent had quit. Of course, no one tells me, I have to hear this from the selling realtor. Basically at this point, no one was working on the loan because it seemed like a dead deal. I didn’t think we had an issue because Wells Fargo had stated to me numerous times that we were ready to go, just waiting on the agreement. Now they tell me that not only does the roof need to be fixed, but a whole list of other items like an illegal kitchen needs to be removed, and a wall knocked down (don’t ask the details, that’s another 50 page story). Oh and by the way, they are charging us for extensions to get this done. Even though we were just sitting here waiting for the short sale agreement for months and I had contractors visit the house on two occasions when this could have been done, we need to go through a quote process for the remaining items. Oh, and it’s Christmas time, so everyone is on vacation. The timing is off and Wells Fargo basically says this probably is not going to happen. This is fine because we didn’t really want the RNS anyway. At this point I’m exhausted with the process. And everyday friends and family ask, “So are you in the house yet?” We know they are truly concerned, but it’s tempting to explode and begin telling this story. Worst of all, I look like I am doing a poor job for my family. Surely something’s wrong if it’s over a year since we’ve been trying to purchase a house. Remember though, each step along the way we either are getting a benefit for waiting (like the bank error) or truly feel that we are right around the corner from getting this done. I tell Pickle that I am going to do whatever it takes to get this done by the end of January. If it doesn’t get done, we walk away from the RNS. Soon we will have a new baby, and I’ll need the final weeks to figure out what we are going to do. I can’t wait any longer for the RNS. If you made it this far, I guess I lied, there is a funny twist to the story. As we are closing in on finishing the deal with Wells Fargo, the underwriter requests a letter. What letter you ask? A letter explaining why we wrote an escrow check on 1/21/09 and still a year later are trying to purchase the same house! Ha! Well, we get the letter and everything else in order. All the quotes, papers, letters, and after all the calls to the secret corporate complaint number we were finally ready for closing sans extension fees from Wells Fargo. So there we were sitting at closing. All the paperwork done, approved, and we had wired the total funds needed for closing to the title company. Wiring the money was a requirement because the short sale agreement expired the same day we were closing (of course). So if it didn’t get done that day, we’d have to wait all over again for the short sale approval or work up an extension. Essentially the deal would be dead. We are literally there, signing the papers, and the title company realizes they made a mistake. They forgot the mortgage tax stamps. With only an hour to spare, we had to hop in the car, race to the bank (to which I was so frazzled, I actually went to the wrong one first), get 450 dollars or so more out via a money order, race back to just barely make it. Victory! We now have the RNS. Now to get the roof fixed, patch the ceiling caving in, remove the illegal kitchen, move in, set-up the nursery, and begin our new lives. This post is dedicated to all the people who were wondering what exactly what was going on with the house over the past year and a half. Also to one special employee at Wells Fargo that actually works and made sure this got done. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4064 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 11 Feb 2010 21:38:52 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4064 Even though this site hides the nerd when it can, sometimes it just can't be helped. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4063 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 10 Feb 2010 11:04:10 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4063 I know this is a few days old, but I'm catching up a little.  This isn't real is it?  This has to be Tina Fey reading cheat notes from her hand as a joke right?  Or is she really the girl in high school that got high marks with a little luck and a little cheating?  The "done" button has been lit and is getting ready for pressing. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4062 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:26:11 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4062 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4060 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:26:50 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4060   I know everyone was all over me for saying Huckabee was done after the last incident.  Sure, people with a level head understood what went down, but if you think these crazy sheep are bad, the competing Republicans would do way worse in the primary if he were to win.  Crazy sheep, I hope the Democrats are taking notes.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4059 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 04 Feb 2010 22:22:39 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4059 ( source ) I'm willing to bet she was joking here.  But even if so, she's perpetuating a stereotype.  Or she could be a part of the pro map agenda.  Either way, hasn't been a vote in a real long time.  Vote 1 for she's obviously joking, but the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack is like totally her favorite, vote 10 for she's in favor of donating Internets to such as South Africa such as so they can learn to read such as with Facebook such as. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4058 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:57:52 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4058 Nova snapped a two game losing streak to go to .500 in the conference, eat that St. Leo.  Regularly scheduled programming will continue tomorrow.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4056 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:11:54 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4056 We are supposedly closing on a house in an hour or so.  I wanted to post a droll related to a house, but I don't want to jinx it.  Plus I saw this.  Don't worry, his arms don't fall off or anything, I'm not a big fan of the arm break weightlifting. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4054 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:43:44 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4054 Florida Southern ended Nova Southeastern University's ten home game winning streak tonight as they upended the Sharks 75-82.  But don't go on suicide watch just yet, there are some great things we can take from tonight. They have heart.  At one point Nova was down almost 20 points and brought it back within two late in the second half.  They could have easily given up at this level, but they didn't. They can hang with the big boys.  Florida Southern is at the very least the second best team in the SSC.  They might even be the number one team.  Nova played them tight and had a chance to win at the end of the game. The Sharks, now 4-4 in conference play, aren't done yet.  The playoff race is shaping up to look a lot like the AFC playoff fight that happened this year.  Three other teams stand at 4-3 right now and they all play each other in remaining games.  Although this win would have been nice, it wasn't really a must win.  Games against Lynn, Eckerd, and Barry coming up are must wins.  We'll know what this team is really made of after that stretch. The Sharks are just inches behind great team work.  The team came together for the tremendous comeback, but in the end guys like Alex Gynes just tried to hard to do it all on their own. Ross Alsop needs to step up.  He had the size to be an imposing force tonight, but continually got beat by smaller opponents and at times just didn't seem to give the effort needed...especially for a center.  Many rebound opportunities were missed, but the good news is there is time to correct this. Don't lose heart, I have the feeling this squad is about to turn the heat up as they make a push for the playoffs. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4053 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 27 Jan 2010 22:56:56 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4053 Not really a Quote of the Day when it's more of a rant...From the New York Daily News: Paul Shirley, whose brief NBA career included 18 games and 33 points with three teams over three seasons, is not in the giving mood. At least not when it comes to the people suffering in Haiti after an earthquake devastated the island nation on Jan. 12. Shirley writes on flipcollective.com why he won't be joining the millions from around the globe sending money to support the Haitian relief efforts. He continued: "Shouldn't there be some discourse on how the millions of dollars that are being poured into Haiti will be spent? And at least a slight reprimand for the conditions prior to the earthquake? Some kind of inquisition? Something like this?: Dear Haitians – First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded. As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it's possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while? Sincerely, The Rest of the World The essay, posted on the FlipCollective Web site on Tuesday, has already cost Shirley one job. Way to take the heat off of Bauer there Paul.  See you election time in South Carolina.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4052 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:13:07 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4052 When speaking of government assistance to the poor, Bauer said, "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that (source)." Ah, there's the Republicans we know and love.  At least he speaks what he's actually thinking. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4051 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 26 Jan 2010 09:13:40 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4051 Nice job Steeler, take a page from the Democrats book.  Everything seems to be swinging your way and then lead your party to idiocy. DENVER – The Republican Party is seeking input and money from GOP voters — seemingly under the guise of the U.S. Census Bureau. "Strengthening our Party for the 2010 elections is going to take a massive grass-roots effort all across America. That is why I have authorized a Census to be conducted of every Congressional District in the country," GOP Chairman Michael Steele says in a letter mailed nationwide. The letter was sent in plain white envelopes marked "Do Not Destroy, Official Document." Labeled "2010 Congressional District Census," the letter uses a capital "C," the same as the Census Bureau. It also includes a "Census Tracking Code." The letter makes a plea for money and accompanies a form asking voters to identify their political leanings and issues important to them. There are no disclaimers that participation in the GOP effort is voluntary; participation in the government census is required by law. Failure to participate carries a $5,000 fine, though it is rarely enforced.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4048 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:20:47 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4048 I want to be just like this kid when I grow up. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4045 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 22 Jan 2010 13:40:33 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4045 My mother alerted me to the fact that some of her friends from Alabama took exception to this comment on the goat man - Listen folks, don't be sending in stuff like this.  It's just gross.  The reason we posted this story anyway is not for the shock value of the picture, but the shock value of the location.  Turkey might be pretty rural, but we all thought if this was going to happen, it would be in Alabama with a Nick Saban head.  It's not a sign of the Apocalypse though, we'll know that's here when the mutants have laser beam eyes and stuff like that.  This thing didn't even survive. Well, I'll give you this:  At least in Alabama you don't make your kids beat their hamsters to death. WARM SRPINGS, Ga. — Police have arrested a Georgia woman who they say forced her son to kill his pet hamster with a hammer as punishment for earning a bad grade.  Meriwether County sheriff Steve Whitlock told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution Thursday night that the 12-year-old boy told his teacher about the killing. The teacher reported it to the Division of Family and Child Services, who contacted police. The pet's death allegedly took place at the family's Warm Springs home. Whitlock said 38-year-old Lynn Middlebrooks Geter faces one charge each of animal cruelty, child cruelty and battery. He said she was arrested last week and remained in the Meriwether County jail Thursday evening. It was not immediately known if she had a lawyer. Meriwether County is located about 90 minutes southwest of Atlanta. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4044 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:14:10 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4044 From the Sun-Sentinel - Burger King will unveil plans Friday to open a new Whopper Bar in South Beach that will sell beer and burgers, USA Today reports. The bar is scheduled to open in mid-February. The plans don't include selling beer at conventional Burger Kings. More Whopper Bars could be coming to New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, says Chuck Fallon, president of Miami-based Burger King North America.   A beer at the new Whopper Bar -- served in special aluminum bottles to keep them extra cold -- is expected to cost $4.25.  A Whopper combo with a beer will cost $7.99 -- about $2 more than the same meal with a fountain drink.  The restaurant will initially sell Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors beers.  Burger Kings in Germany and Whopper Bars in Singapore and Venezuela sell beer. But this will be the first BK brand in the United States to sell beer. Now Fat has an "excuse" to go down to South Beach.  It's not for the Scott Brown centerfolds, it's for the beer and whoppers.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4043 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 22 Jan 2010 09:35:45 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4043 From Reuters - Corporations can spend freely to support or oppose candidates for president and Congress, the Supreme Court ruled on Thursday, a landmark decision denounced by President Barack Obama for giving special interests more power. "The Supreme Court has given a green light to a new stampede of special interest money in our politics," Obama said after the 5-4 ruling that divided the nation's high court along conservative and liberal lines. The ruling, a defeat for Obama and supporters of campaign finance limits, is expected to unleash a flood of money to be spent in this year's congressional election and the 2012 presidential contest. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4042 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:17:21 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4042 We've always had a mother of the year competition, but I think John Edwards is making a case to create a father of the year award.  The first step is, well you know, admitting you are the father -  Former presidential candidate John Edwards has admitted fathering his former campaign videographer's child. In a statement released to NBC News, Edwards said, "I am Quinn’s father. ... It was wrong for me ever to deny she was my daughter and hopefully one day, when she understands, she will forgive me." Friends of the family said that Edwards and wife, Elizabeth, have separated, NBC reported.   The admission comes after months of denials from Edwards that he fathered former mistress Rielle Hunter's daughter, Frances Quinn.  The revelation also comes a week before his former campaign aide, Andrew Young, is set to appear in an ABC News interview saying he posed as the father when the scandal first broke as a favor to Edwards. Really?  You had to wait until Andrew Young was going cold bust you to come clean?  Even after everyone already knew it and it was obvious you were a cheating turd, you still couldn't man up?  Because our counter is half-named after him, we've had a bunch of people pointing the new revelations out.  I wasn't even going to post on it because A. there was no surprise, and 2. the guy makes me sick to my stomach.  But I hadn't realized his hand was once again forced because he was cornered.  If it wasn't for the fact that he's not elected anywhere and has no signs of returning to any elected office, I'd say the counter deserves a reset for this.  Why won't this guy just go away?   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4041 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:36:57 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4041 It's not so inexplicable now.  Just after I made the post below, I checked my e-mail and I found this - Recently the Democrats have been known as better organized and more Internets savvy, but looks like someone fell for the old joke.  Republicans vote on Tuesday, the Democrats vote on Wednesday.  Just as a heads up to J.B. Poersch, everyone voted yesterday 1/19/10 on TUESDAY.  I honestly did not doctor this image in anyway other than to block on my e-mail and my name.  Which is kind of moot anyway I guess.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4039 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:22:10 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4039 Who wants to marry into the newest political power family?  I know I do.  Thanks for the offer Scott Brown, but I'm actually going to have to pass.  I would have burned my ACLU card in a second for the chance, but unfortunately I'm already locked up. In all seriousness, and I know I'm going to get killed by everyone here, but I don't care that he won.  I have too much going on right now personally.  Is this a sign the Republicans are going to come storming back?  Possibly.  Still don't care.  What I care about is that the Democrats had their chance for healthcare and they blew it.  On almost every level.  Depending on how the question is asked and what poll you decide to agree with, a majority of Americans actually support a public option.  That was back in June.  Then months go by.  You kill the public option, you add a bunch of red tape, and have meetings behind closed doors.  Guess what?  Just 38% of the public support your plan.  They had their chance and blew it.  Martha Coakley might have been a bad candidate, but it takes more than a bad candidate to lose as a Dem in Mass. This man didn't kill healthcare, the Democrats did - http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4038 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:08:24 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4038 “We've already donated to Haiti. It’s called the U.S. income tax.” “They said, ‘we will serve you if you will get us free from the French.’ True story. And so, the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,’” (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4036 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:52:45 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4036 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4035 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:23:39 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4035 Hosting "The Tonight Show" has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me – and I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too. --Conan O'Brien http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4034 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:13:13 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4034 Sheep Gives Birth to Human-Faced Lamb in Turkey   A sheep gave birth to a dead lamb with a human-like face. The calf was born in a village not far from the city of Izmir, Turkey.  Erhan Elibol, a vet, performed Cesarean section on the animal to take the calf out, but was horrified to see that the features of the calf’s snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face.  “I’ve seen mutations with cows and sheep before. I’ve seen a one-eyed calf, a two-headed calf, a five-legged calf. But when I saw this youngster I could not believe my eyes. His mother could not deliver him so I had to help the animal,” the 29-year-old veterinary said.  The lamb’s head had human features on – the eyes, the nose and the mouth – only the ears were those of a sheep.  Listen folks, don't be sending in stuff like this.  It's just gross.  The reason we posted this story anyway is not for the shock value of the picture, but the shock value of the location.  Turkey might be pretty rural, but we all thought if this was going to happen, it would be in Alabama with a Nick Saban head.  It's not a sign of the Apocalypse though, we'll know that's here when the mutants have laser beam eyes and stuff like that.  This thing didn't even survive. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4032 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 13 Jan 2010 15:35:36 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4032 Well someone has stolen the mantel of "pulling a Walmart" and taken it to the next level.  The receipt checkers are essentially a business taking out security measures on honest customers.  I get it though, a study was done and found checking receipts reduces shrink.  Still, some of these people are over aggressive and it's an annoyance to the customers.  One guy yelled at me once saying he better never see me in the store again after I didn't feel like digging through my pockets for a receipt that showed everything I had just purchased right in front of him only a few feet away.  I didn't go back, and CompUSA went out of business.  The receipt check thing is one of the reasons I don't shop at Walmart, although during Christmas I was strong armed into going there and it seems like they are more lax with that policy now. I say all of this not to defend this idiot picking a fight with an elderly man, but I wasn't the least bit surprised when they checked his receipt and everything was there. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4031 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:14:50 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4031  "A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee." (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4030 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:34:51 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4030 I hope the room for other pursuits allows her time to run for President next term...  From the NYT: The network confirmed that Ms. Palin would appear on the network’s programming on a regular basis as part of a multiyear deal. Financial terms were not disclosed. Ms. Palin will not have her own regular program, one person with knowledge of the deal said, though she will host a series that will run on the network from time to time. This person would not elaborate, but the network does have a precedent for such a series. Oliver L. North is the host of an occasionally running documentary series on the military called “War Stories.” Many suspected that when Ms. Palin retired as the governor of Alaska last summer she was doing so to pursue some sort of career in television. The Fox News deal, however, would not seem to be all-encompassing, and would appear to give her room for other pursuits, as well. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4029 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 11 Jan 2010 15:54:47 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4029 "I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived," Blagojevich said. "I saw it all growing up." (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4028 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:06:31 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4028 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4027 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 08 Jan 2010 10:01:38 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4027 At first I thought this was just dumb hatred, but then she explained it.  It's just like the signs No Catholics need apply or No Irish need apply.  Okay, I get it now... http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4026 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:46:31 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4026 These end of year/beginning of year top ten lists need to be taken with a grain of salt because posts early in the year have a huge advantage over those at the end of the year.  Still fun to recap though. 10. Collective Reader E-mails: The Obama Stimulus Plan... - Want to bump? Let's bump! 9. Republican Sexual Misconduct, Part ?...  - The introduction of the Sexual Misconduct Counter®. 8. Reader E-mail: Eminem is Back... - Indeed, this post did get more than the 20 page treatise. 7. Rest in Peace Michael Jackson... - Sadly, even we capitalized on his death. 6. Lizard Porn, Friday Drolls, and a Dunk... - Any post that mentions Peta Todd gets hits.  Won't be surprised to see today's post in the top ten next year. 5. Obama Administration Backs Off Privatization of Veterans Benefits... - The only post in the top ten with substance, but then again most of this site lacks it. 4. Mainstream Media... - Sometimes I forget about my commenting protest of Conservative21, but this post reminds me how skewed the view is from reality over there. 3. Racist Gorilla Comic? - Final vote of 4.4. 2. Weave Saves Woman's Life... - Bullet-proof-weave. 1. Quote of the Day... - The post that lead to the introduction of the Sexual Misconduct Counter®.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4025 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 06 Jan 2010 15:49:51 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4025 I know, I know, MC is low hanging fruit.  But when someone tries to predict the future, it makes for an easy bust.  Early last year he brazenly claimed -   In no particular order, and with a near 100% guarantee that the exact opposite will probably end up happening, here are my predictions for 2009.  Wrong, the exact opposite didn't occur in most of his predictions yet they were still incorrect.  Here's some other's he got wrong -   Fidel Castro will die, ending his reign of terror in Cuba. Tyrannical Communist rule will continue on the island under his brother, Raul Castro.    Iran will announce it has a nuclear weapon.   The economy will get worse before it gets better and, by the end of the year, inflation worries will trump all else in discussions about the economy.     Despite more big signings, the New York Yankees will not win the World Series. The Anaheim Angels will.    The oceans will stop rising and the planet will begin to heal.     The Boston Celtics will repeat as national champions defeating the L.A. Lakers in a thrilling Finals.    Clint Eastwood will win the Oscar for directing for his new movie, Gran Torino.    Al Franken will not be a Senator when the new Congress convenes. * Technically true, but he was just trying to sound Nostradamusish.  We all know what he meant.     An edgy, smart and conservative website will emerge that will single-handedly change the internet’s political landscape.   Lebron James will win the NBA’s MVP award. Dwyane Wade will finish a close second. * Dwade finished a very distant third.   Islamic terrorists will successfully carry out an attack against a major European or American target.     Peyton Manning will win the NFL’s MVP award. * Was already announced at the time of posting, so doesn't count.  Marked wrong under the category "cheating."    The new Harry Potter, X-Men and Transformers flicks will be the top grossing movies of 2009. * A little credit here because Potter and Transformers were the top two, but X-men was barely in the top ten. The number one thing he got wrong -  The Lizard Master will use my incorrect predictions in this post as inflammatory fodder for an end-of-the-year blog post in 2009.  Wrong, they were posted as inflammatory fodder to kick off the new year.  Happy New Years everybody!   P.S. Here's a prediction for you.  Soon there will be a spinster post on Not Conformed Thoughts claiming victory and clairvoyance by twisting facts and revising history while completely ignoring MC's prediction failure rate. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4022 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:45:05 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4022 Self-Potatoes?   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4021 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:33:33 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4021 #1 Creepy bachelors from the 1980's -  "What I'm not looking for is some big, overgrown monster who's always thinking about food." - Fat http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4020 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 31 Dec 2009 23:01:04 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4020