http://www.lizardmaster.com The Lizard Master's blog, travels, diary, fishing, lizards, and funny. en-us Copyright 2006 Alex Grosholz http://backend.userland.com/rss/ Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:30:00 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/tlm/images/lizardmaster.jpg http://www.lizardmaster.com I know this is a few days old, but I'm catching up a little.  This isn't real is it?  This has to be Tina Fey reading cheat notes from her hand as a joke right?  Or is she really the girl in high school that got high marks with a little luck and a little cheating?  The "done" button has been lit and is getting ready for pressing. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4062 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:26:11 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4062 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4060 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:26:50 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4060   I know everyone was all over me for saying Huckabee was done after the last incident.  Sure, people with a level head understood what went down, but if you think these crazy sheep are bad, the competing Republicans would do way worse in the primary if he were to win.  Crazy sheep, I hope the Democrats are taking notes.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4059 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 04 Feb 2010 22:22:39 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4059 ( source ) I'm willing to bet she was joking here.  But even if so, she's perpetuating a stereotype.  Or she could be a part of the pro map agenda.  Either way, hasn't been a vote in a real long time.  Vote 1 for she's obviously joking, but the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack is like totally her favorite, vote 10 for she's in favor of donating Internets to such as South Africa such as so they can learn to read such as with Facebook such as. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4058 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:57:52 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4058 Nova snapped a two game losing streak to go to .500 in the conference, eat that St. Leo.  Regularly scheduled programming will continue tomorrow.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4056 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:11:54 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4056 We are supposedly closing on a house in an hour or so.  I wanted to post a droll related to a house, but I don't want to jinx it.  Plus I saw this.  Don't worry, his arms don't fall off or anything, I'm not a big fan of the arm break weightlifting. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4054 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:43:44 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4054 Florida Southern ended Nova Southeastern University's ten home game winning streak tonight as they upended the Sharks 75-82.  But don't go on suicide watch just yet, there are some great things we can take from tonight. They have heart.  At one point Nova was down almost 20 points and brought it back within two late in the second half.  They could have easily given up at this level, but they didn't. They can hang with the big boys.  Florida Southern is at the very least the second best team in the SSC.  They might even be the number one team.  Nova played them tight and had a chance to win at the end of the game. The Sharks, now 4-4 in conference play, aren't done yet.  The playoff race is shaping up to look a lot like the AFC playoff fight that happened this year.  Three other teams stand at 4-3 right now and they all play each other in remaining games.  Although this win would have been nice, it wasn't really a must win.  Games against Lynn, Eckerd, and Barry coming up are must wins.  We'll know what this team is really made of after that stretch. The Sharks are just inches behind great team work.  The team came together for the tremendous comeback, but in the end guys like Alex Gynes just tried to hard to do it all on their own. Ross Alsop needs to step up.  He had the size to be an imposing force tonight, but continually got beat by smaller opponents and at times just didn't seem to give the effort needed...especially for a center.  Many rebound opportunities were missed, but the good news is there is time to correct this. Don't lose heart, I have the feeling this squad is about to turn the heat up as they make a push for the playoffs. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4053 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 27 Jan 2010 22:56:56 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4053 Not really a Quote of the Day when it's more of a rant...From the New York Daily News: Paul Shirley, whose brief NBA career included 18 games and 33 points with three teams over three seasons, is not in the giving mood. At least not when it comes to the people suffering in Haiti after an earthquake devastated the island nation on Jan. 12. Shirley writes on flipcollective.com why he won't be joining the millions from around the globe sending money to support the Haitian relief efforts. He continued: "Shouldn't there be some discourse on how the millions of dollars that are being poured into Haiti will be spent? And at least a slight reprimand for the conditions prior to the earthquake? Some kind of inquisition? Something like this?: Dear Haitians – First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded. As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it's possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while? Sincerely, The Rest of the World The essay, posted on the FlipCollective Web site on Tuesday, has already cost Shirley one job. Way to take the heat off of Bauer there Paul.  See you election time in South Carolina.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4052 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:13:07 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4052 When speaking of government assistance to the poor, Bauer said, "My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that (source)." Ah, there's the Republicans we know and love.  At least he speaks what he's actually thinking. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4051 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 26 Jan 2010 09:13:40 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4051 Nice job Steeler, take a page from the Democrats book.  Everything seems to be swinging your way and then lead your party to idiocy. DENVER – The Republican Party is seeking input and money from GOP voters — seemingly under the guise of the U.S. Census Bureau. "Strengthening our Party for the 2010 elections is going to take a massive grass-roots effort all across America. That is why I have authorized a Census to be conducted of every Congressional District in the country," GOP Chairman Michael Steele says in a letter mailed nationwide. The letter was sent in plain white envelopes marked "Do Not Destroy, Official Document." Labeled "2010 Congressional District Census," the letter uses a capital "C," the same as the Census Bureau. It also includes a "Census Tracking Code." The letter makes a plea for money and accompanies a form asking voters to identify their political leanings and issues important to them. There are no disclaimers that participation in the GOP effort is voluntary; participation in the government census is required by law. Failure to participate carries a $5,000 fine, though it is rarely enforced.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4048 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:20:47 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4048 I want to be just like this kid when I grow up. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4045 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 22 Jan 2010 13:40:33 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4045 My mother alerted me to the fact that some of her friends from Alabama took exception to this comment on the goat man - Listen folks, don't be sending in stuff like this.  It's just gross.  The reason we posted this story anyway is not for the shock value of the picture, but the shock value of the location.  Turkey might be pretty rural, but we all thought if this was going to happen, it would be in Alabama with a Nick Saban head.  It's not a sign of the Apocalypse though, we'll know that's here when the mutants have laser beam eyes and stuff like that.  This thing didn't even survive. Well, I'll give you this:  At least in Alabama you don't make your kids beat their hamsters to death. WARM SRPINGS, Ga. — Police have arrested a Georgia woman who they say forced her son to kill his pet hamster with a hammer as punishment for earning a bad grade.  Meriwether County sheriff Steve Whitlock told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution Thursday night that the 12-year-old boy told his teacher about the killing. The teacher reported it to the Division of Family and Child Services, who contacted police. The pet's death allegedly took place at the family's Warm Springs home. Whitlock said 38-year-old Lynn Middlebrooks Geter faces one charge each of animal cruelty, child cruelty and battery. He said she was arrested last week and remained in the Meriwether County jail Thursday evening. It was not immediately known if she had a lawyer. Meriwether County is located about 90 minutes southwest of Atlanta. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4044 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:14:10 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4044 From the Sun-Sentinel - Burger King will unveil plans Friday to open a new Whopper Bar in South Beach that will sell beer and burgers, USA Today reports. The bar is scheduled to open in mid-February. The plans don't include selling beer at conventional Burger Kings. More Whopper Bars could be coming to New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, says Chuck Fallon, president of Miami-based Burger King North America.   A beer at the new Whopper Bar -- served in special aluminum bottles to keep them extra cold -- is expected to cost $4.25.  A Whopper combo with a beer will cost $7.99 -- about $2 more than the same meal with a fountain drink.  The restaurant will initially sell Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors beers.  Burger Kings in Germany and Whopper Bars in Singapore and Venezuela sell beer. But this will be the first BK brand in the United States to sell beer. Now Fat has an "excuse" to go down to South Beach.  It's not for the Scott Brown centerfolds, it's for the beer and whoppers.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4043 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 22 Jan 2010 09:35:45 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4043 From Reuters - Corporations can spend freely to support or oppose candidates for president and Congress, the Supreme Court ruled on Thursday, a landmark decision denounced by President Barack Obama for giving special interests more power. "The Supreme Court has given a green light to a new stampede of special interest money in our politics," Obama said after the 5-4 ruling that divided the nation's high court along conservative and liberal lines. The ruling, a defeat for Obama and supporters of campaign finance limits, is expected to unleash a flood of money to be spent in this year's congressional election and the 2012 presidential contest. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4042 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:17:21 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4042 We've always had a mother of the year competition, but I think John Edwards is making a case to create a father of the year award.  The first step is, well you know, admitting you are the father -  Former presidential candidate John Edwards has admitted fathering his former campaign videographer's child. In a statement released to NBC News, Edwards said, "I am Quinn’s father. ... It was wrong for me ever to deny she was my daughter and hopefully one day, when she understands, she will forgive me." Friends of the family said that Edwards and wife, Elizabeth, have separated, NBC reported.   The admission comes after months of denials from Edwards that he fathered former mistress Rielle Hunter's daughter, Frances Quinn.  The revelation also comes a week before his former campaign aide, Andrew Young, is set to appear in an ABC News interview saying he posed as the father when the scandal first broke as a favor to Edwards. Really?  You had to wait until Andrew Young was going cold bust you to come clean?  Even after everyone already knew it and it was obvious you were a cheating turd, you still couldn't man up?  Because our counter is half-named after him, we've had a bunch of people pointing the new revelations out.  I wasn't even going to post on it because A. there was no surprise, and 2. the guy makes me sick to my stomach.  But I hadn't realized his hand was once again forced because he was cornered.  If it wasn't for the fact that he's not elected anywhere and has no signs of returning to any elected office, I'd say the counter deserves a reset for this.  Why won't this guy just go away?   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4041 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:36:57 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4041 It's not so inexplicable now.  Just after I made the post below, I checked my e-mail and I found this - Recently the Democrats have been known as better organized and more Internets savvy, but looks like someone fell for the old joke.  Republicans vote on Tuesday, the Democrats vote on Wednesday.  Just as a heads up to J.B. Poersch, everyone voted yesterday 1/19/10 on TUESDAY.  I honestly did not doctor this image in anyway other than to block on my e-mail and my name.  Which is kind of moot anyway I guess.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4039 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:22:10 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4039 Who wants to marry into the newest political power family?  I know I do.  Thanks for the offer Scott Brown, but I'm actually going to have to pass.  I would have burned my ACLU card in a second for the chance, but unfortunately I'm already locked up. In all seriousness, and I know I'm going to get killed by everyone here, but I don't care that he won.  I have too much going on right now personally.  Is this a sign the Republicans are going to come storming back?  Possibly.  Still don't care.  What I care about is that the Democrats had their chance for healthcare and they blew it.  On almost every level.  Depending on how the question is asked and what poll you decide to agree with, a majority of Americans actually support a public option.  That was back in June.  Then months go by.  You kill the public option, you add a bunch of red tape, and have meetings behind closed doors.  Guess what?  Just 38% of the public support your plan.  They had their chance and blew it.  Martha Coakley might have been a bad candidate, but it takes more than a bad candidate to lose as a Dem in Mass. This man didn't kill healthcare, the Democrats did - http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4038 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:08:24 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4038 “We've already donated to Haiti. It’s called the U.S. income tax.” “They said, ‘we will serve you if you will get us free from the French.’ True story. And so, the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,’” (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4036 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:52:45 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4036 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4035 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:23:39 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4035 Hosting "The Tonight Show" has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me – and I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too. --Conan O'Brien http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4034 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:13:13 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4034 Sheep Gives Birth to Human-Faced Lamb in Turkey   A sheep gave birth to a dead lamb with a human-like face. The calf was born in a village not far from the city of Izmir, Turkey.  Erhan Elibol, a vet, performed Cesarean section on the animal to take the calf out, but was horrified to see that the features of the calf’s snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face.  “I’ve seen mutations with cows and sheep before. I’ve seen a one-eyed calf, a two-headed calf, a five-legged calf. But when I saw this youngster I could not believe my eyes. His mother could not deliver him so I had to help the animal,” the 29-year-old veterinary said.  The lamb’s head had human features on – the eyes, the nose and the mouth – only the ears were those of a sheep.  Listen folks, don't be sending in stuff like this.  It's just gross.  The reason we posted this story anyway is not for the shock value of the picture, but the shock value of the location.  Turkey might be pretty rural, but we all thought if this was going to happen, it would be in Alabama with a Nick Saban head.  It's not a sign of the Apocalypse though, we'll know that's here when the mutants have laser beam eyes and stuff like that.  This thing didn't even survive. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4032 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 13 Jan 2010 15:35:36 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4032 Well someone has stolen the mantel of "pulling a Walmart" and taken it to the next level.  The receipt checkers are essentially a business taking out security measures on honest customers.  I get it though, a study was done and found checking receipts reduces shrink.  Still, some of these people are over aggressive and it's an annoyance to the customers.  One guy yelled at me once saying he better never see me in the store again after I didn't feel like digging through my pockets for a receipt that showed everything I had just purchased right in front of him only a few feet away.  I didn't go back, and CompUSA went out of business.  The receipt check thing is one of the reasons I don't shop at Walmart, although during Christmas I was strong armed into going there and it seems like they are more lax with that policy now. I say all of this not to defend this idiot picking a fight with an elderly man, but I wasn't the least bit surprised when they checked his receipt and everything was there. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4031 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:14:50 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4031  "A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee." (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4030 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:34:51 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4030 I hope the room for other pursuits allows her time to run for President next term...  From the NYT: The network confirmed that Ms. Palin would appear on the network’s programming on a regular basis as part of a multiyear deal. Financial terms were not disclosed. Ms. Palin will not have her own regular program, one person with knowledge of the deal said, though she will host a series that will run on the network from time to time. This person would not elaborate, but the network does have a precedent for such a series. Oliver L. North is the host of an occasionally running documentary series on the military called “War Stories.” Many suspected that when Ms. Palin retired as the governor of Alaska last summer she was doing so to pursue some sort of career in television. The Fox News deal, however, would not seem to be all-encompassing, and would appear to give her room for other pursuits, as well. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4029 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 11 Jan 2010 15:54:47 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4029 "I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived," Blagojevich said. "I saw it all growing up." (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4028 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:06:31 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4028 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4027 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 08 Jan 2010 10:01:38 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4027 At first I thought this was just dumb hatred, but then she explained it.  It's just like the signs No Catholics need apply or No Irish need apply.  Okay, I get it now... http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4026 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:46:31 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4026 These end of year/beginning of year top ten lists need to be taken with a grain of salt because posts early in the year have a huge advantage over those at the end of the year.  Still fun to recap though. 10. Collective Reader E-mails: The Obama Stimulus Plan... - Want to bump? Let's bump! 9. Republican Sexual Misconduct, Part ?...  - The introduction of the Sexual Misconduct Counter®. 8. Reader E-mail: Eminem is Back... - Indeed, this post did get more than the 20 page treatise. 7. Rest in Peace Michael Jackson... - Sadly, even we capitalized on his death. 6. Lizard Porn, Friday Drolls, and a Dunk... - Any post that mentions Peta Todd gets hits.  Won't be surprised to see today's post in the top ten next year. 5. Obama Administration Backs Off Privatization of Veterans Benefits... - The only post in the top ten with substance, but then again most of this site lacks it. 4. Mainstream Media... - Sometimes I forget about my commenting protest of Conservative21, but this post reminds me how skewed the view is from reality over there. 3. Racist Gorilla Comic? - Final vote of 4.4. 2. Weave Saves Woman's Life... - Bullet-proof-weave. 1. Quote of the Day... - The post that lead to the introduction of the Sexual Misconduct Counter®.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4025 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 06 Jan 2010 15:49:51 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4025 I know, I know, MC is low hanging fruit.  But when someone tries to predict the future, it makes for an easy bust.  Early last year he brazenly claimed -   In no particular order, and with a near 100% guarantee that the exact opposite will probably end up happening, here are my predictions for 2009.  Wrong, the exact opposite didn't occur in most of his predictions yet they were still incorrect.  Here's some other's he got wrong -   Fidel Castro will die, ending his reign of terror in Cuba. Tyrannical Communist rule will continue on the island under his brother, Raul Castro.    Iran will announce it has a nuclear weapon.   The economy will get worse before it gets better and, by the end of the year, inflation worries will trump all else in discussions about the economy.     Despite more big signings, the New York Yankees will not win the World Series. The Anaheim Angels will.    The oceans will stop rising and the planet will begin to heal.     The Boston Celtics will repeat as national champions defeating the L.A. Lakers in a thrilling Finals.    Clint Eastwood will win the Oscar for directing for his new movie, Gran Torino.    Al Franken will not be a Senator when the new Congress convenes. * Technically true, but he was just trying to sound Nostradamusish.  We all know what he meant.     An edgy, smart and conservative website will emerge that will single-handedly change the internet’s political landscape.   Lebron James will win the NBA’s MVP award. Dwyane Wade will finish a close second. * Dwade finished a very distant third.   Islamic terrorists will successfully carry out an attack against a major European or American target.     Peyton Manning will win the NFL’s MVP award. * Was already announced at the time of posting, so doesn't count.  Marked wrong under the category "cheating."    The new Harry Potter, X-Men and Transformers flicks will be the top grossing movies of 2009. * A little credit here because Potter and Transformers were the top two, but X-men was barely in the top ten. The number one thing he got wrong -  The Lizard Master will use my incorrect predictions in this post as inflammatory fodder for an end-of-the-year blog post in 2009.  Wrong, they were posted as inflammatory fodder to kick off the new year.  Happy New Years everybody!   P.S. Here's a prediction for you.  Soon there will be a spinster post on Not Conformed Thoughts claiming victory and clairvoyance by twisting facts and revising history while completely ignoring MC's prediction failure rate. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4022 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 01 Jan 2010 16:45:05 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4022 Self-Potatoes?   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4021 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:33:33 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4021 #1 Creepy bachelors from the 1980's -  "What I'm not looking for is some big, overgrown monster who's always thinking about food." - Fat http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4020 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 31 Dec 2009 23:01:04 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4020 #2 Guy in Balloon - Comment: "I'm inside...What now?"   This makes up for the disaster from two weeks ago.  - Not So Disappointed Anymore   #3 Asian Girl Destroys Playstation 3 #4 Guys sitting on branch while one saws the end off - This is the one that started it all so it gets a little bump up. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4019 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:10:14 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4019 #5 It's time to get ugly - Seven days after we posted this video, sadly he passed. #6 Woman drags kid through the store on a leash/Mom of the Year 2009 #7 Man standing on the corner with sign because he cheated - #1 Goal of the new year?  Get some local press doing a stunt like this. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4018 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 31 Dec 2009 15:19:25 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4018 Looking back there were some pretty good Friday Drolls... Here's the bottom end: #8 Little Bon Qui Qui - The performance review by Stephen said it best, "I don't know how a young girl like that could do such a good job but she totally nailed it."  And an anonymous user said, "this is why I don't eat at king burger" #9 Drunk Guy at the store - The only reason this one fell is that the final score was 5.2 leaning towards it was not faked.  If it was, it was one hell of a fake. #10 Reporter Dunks on Kid and talks smack UPDATE: Reordered the vids so they displayed in order.  Normally we count down, but since they are separate posts just makes more sense. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4017 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 31 Dec 2009 14:11:23 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4017 We will try and post some of these top five/ten things through the day, no promises though, we just let people down when we do that... #5 From: niminsha Comment - Want to send news for tlm abbout leprosy   #4 From: John McCain Comment - I don't like that picture.   #3 From: Doughboy Comment - When I click on McCain, it doesn't do anything... should switch to Obama, or spew out lie of the day.   #2 From: Betty Crocker (There are about five of these, all presumably from Matthew Cochrane) Comment - I was watching your classic film "The Soldier", as was wondering when we are going to see more of Matt Cochrane.  He is so great.   #1 From: [Blank] Comment - what about the liberal media? http://tinyurl.com/liberalmedia UPDATE: To clarify, these were received through the Send TLM a message link in the upper right hand corner. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4016 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 31 Dec 2009 10:51:52 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4016 Nothing brightens my day after getting our car broken into like another elected official letting us down -   ATLANTA — Georgia's powerful House speaker resigned Thursday after a suicide attempt and allegations by his ex-wife of an affair with a lobbyist. Glenn Richardson, the state's first GOP speaker since Reconstruction, had won sympathy from even his political enemies when he revealed last month that he attempted suicide by swallowing sleeping pills. But then his ex-wife went on TV and accused him of having "a full-out affair" with a lobbyist while they were still married. Richardson did not address that allegation in a brief statement issued through the House communications office in which he said he will leave both his position as speaker and his House seat on Jan. 1. He did mention his recent admission, made in the wake of his suicide attempt, that he has grappled with depression. The 49-year-old Richardson, once thought to be a serious contender for governor, had gone right back to shaking hands at chicken-and-grits fundraisers after trying to kill himself. But he had been silent since his ex-wife claimed this week that he slept with a lobbyist pushing a $300 million pipeline bill he was co-sponsoring. Allegedly he slept with a lobbyist pushing through a 300 million pipeline bill and we missed it?  This is the very definition of a SMC reset.  The media still seems to be covering it in Georgia, especially his December 17th farewell address, but December 3rd seems to be the reset date based on the AP article.  We are off our game, it's probably because I haven't created the magnet yet.  I'll get on that... Guess we aren't going to head into the new year with a full head of steam.     http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4014 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:21:47 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4014 I made a mistake and left the drivers side door of Pickle's car unlocked in front of the house.  I got in the car today and everything was disheveled.  The ash tray was out on the floor and the contents of the glove compartment where thrown about.  Missing from the back was a Dave Matthews Band bag Pickle used for working out.  They must have been pissed to open the glove compartment and find a bunch of cassette tapes though.  Jokes on them.  Guess they didn't want the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack on tape.   How can you really enjoy a DMB bag without a soundtrack from a hit 80's movie anyway?  Idiots. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4013 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 29 Dec 2009 14:29:53 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4013 Merry Christmas! http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4010 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:01:52 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4010 We're still hoping someone is going to send us a special Friday Droll for Christmas.  The one we have lined up is okay, but Christmas miracles do happen.  In mean time, my Christmas surprise to Pickle: I'm getting the band together and we are going to do a Liberty version of this song with her Jeep.  Merry Christmas honey! http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4008 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:55:51 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4008 I know no one cares, but I never really believed these even existed...let alone worked.  Once upon a time Commodore posts were pretty regular around here so feel lucky.  Simply amazing, a working C65 prototype computer.  Anyone have 1.635,00 Euros (whatever that means) I can borrow?  Or better yet, everyone pitch in and buy it for me for Christmas... http://cgi.ebay.de/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330387963783&thin=0#ht_3854wt_1167   From wikipedia - The Commodore 65 (also known as the C64DX, not to be confused with the Commodore SX-64 portable unit) was a prototype computer created by Fred Bowen and others at Commodore Business Machines (CBM) (part of Commodore International) in 1990–91. The project was cancelled by CEO Irving Gould. The C65 was an improved version of the Commodore 64, and it was meant to be backwards-compatible with the older computer, while still providing a number of advanced features close to those of the Amiga. When Commodore International was liquidated in 1994, a number of prototypes were sold on the open market, and thus a few people actually own a Commodore 65. Estimates as to the actual number of machines found on the open market range from 50 to 2000 units[citation needed]. As the C65 project was cancelled, the final 8-bit offering from CBM remained the triple-mode, 1–2 MHz, 128 kB (expandable), C64-compatible Commodore 128 of 1985. Technical Specifications The CPU named CSG 4510 R3 (codenamed Victor) was a custom CSG* 65CE02 (a MOS 6502 derivative), combined with two MOS 6526 complex interface adapters (CIAs) A new VIC-III graphics chip named CSG* 4567 R5 (codenamed Bill), capable of producing 256 colors from a palette of 4096 colors; available modes include 320×200×256,  640×200×256,  640×400×16,  1280×200×16, and 1280×400×4  (X×Y×colordepth i.e. number of colors/bit planes) Two CSG* 8580R5 SID sound chips producing stereo sound (the C64 had one SID) 3.54  MHz clock frequency (the C64 ran at 1 MHz) 128 kB RAM, expandable to 8 MB using a RAM expansion port similar to that of the Commodore Amiga 500 Heavily improved BASIC: Commodore BASIC 10.0 (the C64 had the relatively feature-weak BASIC 2.0, which was almost 10 years old by this time.)[citation needed] Proposed feature, not implemented in the final prototype: one internal 3½" floppy disk drive (* CSG = Commodore Semiconductor Group, previously known as MOS Technology, Inc.)   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4006 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:45:06 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4006 Well, we've been scooped again.  People have been sending this video in as a droll as it goes viral, but this is an example of a very well designed gag by the couple. Not way over the top, but looks like a complete disaster.  What gives the video away is how the camera is left when her relative has spilled all over the floor.  Too obvious.  Still, this is what we need to be working on here folks... once again we've been outdone, but this is no Christmas droll since it is clearly a fake. P.S. During our ceremony, Pickle, our daughter, and I mixed sand into a glass vase to represent becoming a family.  I pulled a similar maneuver on it.  This reminds me we need to make another one tonight since we've made it a year. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4005 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:20:13 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4005 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4004 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:51:40 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4004 "Unfortunately this has occurred due to an automated selection of random letters but we are taking immediate action to ensure this will not happen again." (source)   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4002 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:40:54 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4002 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4000 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 11 Dec 2009 09:00:28 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=4000 Although he was a rising star and considered very influential in politics, Rod Jetton did not currently hold a political office so the counter remains at a record setting high.  Scott County Prosecutor Paul Boyd filed the second- degree assault charge against Jetton, once speaker of the Missouri House and now a well-connected political consultant. Word of the charges surged through political circles, as Jetton has been a key consultant and adviser for more than a dozen candidates and officeholders. The felony complaint alleges Jetton, 42, caused serious physical injury to the woman “by hitting her on the head and choking her, resulting in unconsciousness and the loss of the function of a part of her body” during an encounter Nov. 15 and 16 in Sikeston.  The affidavit says Jetton and the alleged victim agreed on a safe word — “green balloons” — that could be used to stop sexual relations during the evening. Instead, the affidavit says, Jetton hit her on the face and choked her before engaging in intercourse. Jetton allegedly said, “You should have said ‘green balloons,’ ” before leaving her home the next morning. I know there was promise of a magnet and a history for resets over a month ago...it's coming...And since we are making amends, clearly the quote of the day is "You should have said green balloons."   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3999 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:04:52 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3999 "It's not in my nature unfortunately to walk on egg shells...I failed at a rather epic level. I apologized. There were consequences that we've dealt with for the last five, six months. One of those consequences seemingly seems to be coming to a close." (source) http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3998 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:44:44 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3998 If you thought the response to President Obama was bad, Jindal still has a few self-destructing surprises for you -  The Miami Dolphins had to correct Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on Tuesday for wrongly claiming his 12-0 New Orleans Saints could be the first team in league history to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl.  The Saints are one of only two remaining undefeated NFL teams this season, sitting next to the Indianapolis Colts at the top of the league.  The once beleaguered franchise that was jokingly referred to as the “Aint’s” for much of its history are now the toast of Louisiana, something that has not gone unnoticed by Jindal.  “I'm a lifelong Saints fan,” he said in an interview on WWL, a local radio station. “I remember the bad times and the good times, when they were 1-15, as well as this year’s incredible, incredible run.”  Jindal then predicted that the Saints would go “not only undefeated, but all the way through the Super Bowl, something that’s never been done before.”  Only problem is that if the Saints were to win out and claim the NFL championship, they would be the second team to do it – following the 1972 Dolphins, a fact the Dolphins were more than happy to point out.  “With all due respect to Governor Jindal, our fans in Louisiana and elsewhere will be disappointed to learn that he forgot about the most accomplished team in NFL history – the 1972 ‘Perfect Season’ Miami Dolphins,” Harvey Greene, the team’s senior vice president of media relations, e-mailed POLITICO. You don't recover from a flub like this one.  Watch out people, GOP contenders are dropping like flies.  http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3997 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:22:39 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3997 I have little doubt that this video will become viral soon so no sense in waiting until Friday to post it.  I'm going to refrain writing what I'm really thinking here or else I'll get chastised by c. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3996 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:23:53 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3996 I had heard about this a last week, but the video was just released.  The man you see walking on the right side of the screen gets caught right in the middle of the draw bridge opening.  Desmond Noland, 80, clings for his life, but eventually lets loose and falls to his death.  He walked the bridge almost every day.  This bridge is special to me because below it, two lakes connect and there is some great fishing to be had.  So needless to say I've spent some time there. Anyway, that's why I first clicked on the report because I don't try and seek out stories like this, but the video is troubling.  You can see him hesitate as he hears the draw bridge alarm, but then sees bicyclist ride by and he figures, what the heck.  Don't worry about the video, it's not Faces of Death or anything, you just see him as he walks off camera.  You just want to scream at him not to do it...ugh...   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3995 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:51:18 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3995 Do not fan it off.  I'm seriously.  Robert Gibbs, don't play with us.  Enquiring minds want to know. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3993 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:30:51 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3993 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3992 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:06:41 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3992 I totally should have updated this blog right before kissing Pickle.  I apologize to all of you, and I'll forever suffer for missing out on an amazing advertising possibility.  We should have had the person marrying us say, "sorry he has to make a lizardmaster.com update."  This blog is starting to become missed opportunities instead of blazing new trails.  I promise to work harder. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3991 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 02 Dec 2009 16:44:58 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3991 After his ill-fated run as an Independent, Mike Huckabee will now definitely never be president because of a lone crazed mad man that went on a cop shooting rampage:  LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – As governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee had a hand pardoning or commuting many more prisoners than his three immediate predecessors combined. Maurice Clemmons, the suspect in Sunday's slaying of four Seattle-area police officers, was among them. For a politician considering another run for the White House, Clemmons could become Huckabee's Willie Horton. "In a primary between a law-and-order Republican and him, I think it could definitely be a vulnerability," said Art English, a political scientist at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. "It is very damaging when you have someone like that whose sentence was commuted. That's pretty high profile and very devastating and very tragic." If you don't think that there is some liberal think tank out there waiting over two decades to exact revenge for Willie Horton, your crazy.  But that's not what will do it.  During the primaries where both parties eat their own, Huckabee already had to fend off attacks from Wayne Dumond.  A child rapist who kills someone after reduction of parole haunted him, but now a 4X 5X cop killer?  The Mitt Romney attack ads appear to be long removed from youtube, but it would be something 4X 5X worse than what you see below.  There is no way he would make it through a primary now.  So enjoy Faux News Huck.  Honestly it really is too bad, I actually respected him most out of all the Republican candidates from the last election.  R.I.P. Political Career. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3989 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 01 Dec 2009 09:26:49 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3989 http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3986 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 27 Nov 2009 10:44:34 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3986 In the mad rush to say Happy Thanksgiving in order for there not to be the first back-to-back Friday Drolls, presented today is some motivation to get that second helping.  Here, Peta shows us that Turkeys are terrorists that must be stopped.  I'll be taking two plates this year.  Thanks Peta. P.S. It sounds like they hired this guy to be the voice of the Turkey. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3985 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:48:46 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3985 Note to Pickle: The people who used to wear mullets didn't do so because they thought it was a cool hairdo, no, they did it because they were bad ass.  So if I used to rock the mullet as you say, then that's the reason.  Also, I just found out it's a way of life so I might be denying my heritage unless I grow it back in again. http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3982 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:11:35 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3982 I can't wait to see how Faux News interprets this crowd.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3981 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:57:00 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3981 I know the BBS and C=64 stuff here might confuse some of you that I'm a gaming nerd.  And may be I am, but I'm much more the 1980's variety than the 2000's.  All this video showed me is that there is no way I'll ever be able to catch up.  I had to watch it three times just to figure out what was going on.  I'm not sure what all the fuss is about the graphic nature of the game though, seems like family time entertainment to me... http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3980 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:41:56 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3980 That was close.  Just narrowly averted the disaster of '08.  Happy Birthday Wife! http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3979 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:05:43 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3979 I hope Pickle doesn't watch this video.  If she realizes there are so many eligible bachelors out there I might be in trouble. P.S. The "Are you that woman?  Please give me a call." guy may be one of the most normal looking in this montage, but make not mistake about it, he is definitely the creepiest.   http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3978 alextlm@bellsouth.net (lizardmaster) Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:25:14 EST http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docid=3978